Lucky Daniels - the beautiful tall rose that grew from concrete.

Hyper-independence, abandonment issues, or both. Lucky Daniels, CEO of SkyeRose Designs, questioned if she could tell the difference between the two traumas after experiencing loss her entire life. Loss equally through abandonment and death.

Lucky responded to a story I posted on Instagram about hyper-independence. Hyper-independence is the result of emotional damage from broken trust. This is recognized as a trauma response. Most hyper-independent people are extremely independent and push people away out of fear of being hurt. They possess the attitude of just figuring things out themselves.

“Damn, am I hyper-independent because of the consistency of people leaving me?” Lucky asked. “How do I tell the difference?’

My initial reaction was curiosity. Lucky and I do not have a personal relationship. We follow each other on Instagram, and I’m never disappointed with the content she posts. Based on her Instagram feed, I gathered that she’s a Washington, D.C. native, artsy, confident, and a very tall woman - 6’5.5” to be exact. So interacting with her on a deeper level than vanity and art were intriguing. I wanted to know Lucky’s story, and hopefully lead her to answer her own questions.

I should probably state that I am not a psychologist, but I have researched my fair share of trauma responses. “Have you convinced yourself you do not need anyone?” I stared at the three dots as she typed. I was anxiously awaiting a reply. Little did I know, my question was uncovering a story that was both intriguing and relatable.

“Well, growing up, in my eyes, I’ve never lived a comfortable life.” Lucky responded. “My mom did what she had to, but you know we were poor compared to other families. My “father” didn’t do much of anything at all. Growing up in the hood is never easy, and adding moving around to it made it worse.”

She continued “I guess it got bad once I started to get bullied for being tall, and because I was interested in art, & dance. I never really told anyone about this. I just up & quit everything. Then again, there was no one for me to talk to by that point. My older sister was sent away, and I was the oldest having to help raise my two younger siblings. So I never really had anyone to lean on.”

I could feel Lucky’s vulnerability through the phone as she shared her truth with me. Actually, it resurfaced ill feelings of my own as she talked about being bullied for being tall. Although my 5’9 stature was nothing compared to her 6’5 frame, it was still taller than the average woman and apparently worth laughing at when you’re a girl who sprouts to that height before the age of 13. 

“On top of death taking people I cared about away from me, the person I could talk to was gone. So I kept it all inside. When I got to college, it got worse. My self-esteem was low. I hated myself and my height. Then, I met someone who helped change my life and my view on life.” Lucky wrote.

“Then, I began to try to work hard on loving myself and my height. That's when I began my clothing line. To not only help me love myself and height but [to help] other tall girls who felt the same pain. Over the years… I’ve learned to love myself, but my support system never grew or was fixed. The only person I really had was still me. I got used to handling things myself. My family was so destroyed due to family disputes and pettiness. My mother and her kids basically have been feeling shunned from both sides of the family. So yes, being able to have support and help would be nice. But for me, I know that’s not something that’s obtainable in my eyes from family, or blood.”

Lucky’s background about her family life gave me a completely different perspective of her situation. This wasn’t a story solely about a trauma response. Lucky is also experiencing the unfortunate complications of situational circumstances. 

“Every friend I’ve made turned into my family when they showed they were there for me more than my blood ever has been. Even still, I still find it hard to lean on them sometimes, but I guess that may be because of the trauma.”

Lucky is currently writing a book about the effects of her childhood, and how it led her on a path to creating her own brand. Follow along her journey on Instagram @atalllife.